Hi Buttercup: I haven't been diagnosed w/ BPD. Although I share allot of the charactoristics of BPD &, yes, I do self harm. How long? I guess that would depend on how one would define self harm. Some of what I've done goes back to my earliest childhood.

My triggers I suppose would include increased levels of stress & also tiredness. But also, in addition to major depression & anxiety disorder (& being suicidal at times), I also suffer (literally) from Gender Identity Disorder (GID) (it's a long story). But fairly regularly, I will see a picture or perhaps watch a video on YouTube that stirs my GID feelings & I start to feel seriously self-abusive, sometimes to the point of feeling suicidal. I have read that individuals who self abuse are not suicidal. And this may be true in many cases. But, for me, they are 2 sides of the same coin.

Yes, I think I know why I do it. It is because I detest who I am & there's nothing I can do about it at this point in my life. (Again, it's a long story.) What I don't know is why I can't control it. I'm a mature older adult at this point. I'm at least marginally functional much of the time. I should be able to stop myself. Sometimes I can. But the urge to do it tends to build up from one day to the next until I finally give in. I have some permanent physical injuries from things I have done to myself in years past.