I completly shattered a couple of days ago. Pushed my husband to the thought of sui and still did not have the words to explain myself. He thought I was horribly mad at him and the things that I said out of hurt and anger can never be taken back. I know he will forever use those phrases to beat himself up. I've spent the last 2.5 days sleeping or crying and I can't find a single reason why. I've been able to hold back tears for the past 5 hrs except one slip up. I'm so glad Miguel is trying his new plan for taking meds at a slumber party. He came home to get something hugged me and said "thanks mom". the boy's all scared up and bloody but he thanks me what the hell am I suppose to say when he finds me crying? When I don't even know what's wrong. This bites! Thanks for posting I'm really trying to be positive it's just not working well.