My father suffered from alcoholism whilst I was growing up, which had a really big effect on me.. and my mother as a result kinda smothered me, and now suffers with anxiety. It's pretty much the reason I have depression, anxiety, and BPD.. but like Payne I have been through a lot of therapy and come to accept the bad things that happened and leave them in the past, as well as understand some of the reasons why. I've been shown how to focus on the good parts of my childhood and never dismiss it as a "bad one".. I now pretty much just figure it's my life now, regardless of what I've been through, and am grateful for the fact I am now essentially in control, even if I do have mental illness to deal with.

Sending kind thoughts your way, especially as it's your birthday! I hope you can find your way and attain peace with your past, and more importantly your future!