you talk of "erasing memories" and say "this has served me well." Clearly, if you are here expressing your sense of feeling trapped, unable or unwilling to grow up in your own eyes, this has NOT served you well. it is not unusual to be terrified to change, to challenge yourself and actually DO something different---and you will have to do something different in order to feel differently.
perhaps, you are fine where you are. you don't have to fix problems if you don't want to. and don't worry about looking young, it won't last forever....one day, no one will comment on your stated age.
ball is in your court...