Hi. I can relate to much of what you have said. I too suffer with similar thoughts that I myself would interpret as "Paranoia", although my T and PDoc insist that it is my anxiety coupled with what they have told me is called OCD (more obsessional thoughts). I had a hard time even believing them if truth be told. It wasn't until I came here and did research into OCD that I was able to identify with it and in turn accept it. I think that is the hardest of all. The fact that you suffer with anxiety makes these thoughts you are having even more disturbing. Please do some research into "Pure0" or "obsessional OCD". I hope that in researching this you find the comfort your looking for. I know how frustrating and scary this all is. Just know that your not alone. Please pm me if you need to.

Jen