Thank you for your kind words. Harley, I think you hit the nail on the head with the respect thing. I am sure that is a big part of the problem. Also his strict Christian upbringing has always made him feel that anything other than "vanilla" sex is bad. I know that is hard to overcome. I too suffered from shame about those things for many years and his reaction brings some of the feelings back. He is a great man, our relationship outside of this issue is pretty damn wonderful. It is hard to decide to end it over this without trying something to fix the problem. My fear is that neither of us will be able to change how we feel. I really don't think there is a porn addiction, but there is a need to view these things to satisfy himself, he simply can't imagine doing them with anyone. Right now I think all I can do is try my best to be patient and remember how I felt when I was trying to overcome similar issues. It will either get better or it won't. I was really hoping to hear from some men that had a similar problem as it might be easier for them to open up here and help me understand and figure the best way to handle this. So far I feel I have pressured him too much and pushed too hard and too fast. Thanks again to those who have responded