My state of mind has been getting worse. This is really bad. My family is not close. I don't have a spouse or children. Parents are deceased. I've left some messages for a sister who lives thousands of miles away. Not heard back this eve . . . maybe tomorrow.

I wish I were dead.

The latest thing is not being able to sleep more than about 2 hours at a time. The fatigue today has been awful. My one friend, a S/O whom I used to live with, is sick of me moaning about not feeling alright. So I came back to my place this eve. It's better not to feel his scorn.

I see no way to escape awful isolation.