Thanks Coco. Unfortunately, I don't have a trusting relationship with my pdoc. He pretty nice, but he's a new doc. (maybe that's good.) At times, when I've been really a mess - like before Christmas - I was not very nice to him. I don't know if he is still turned off by that.

I think I should go back to some support group. I will try.

In my community, there is an excellent 26 hour helpline, and I am very grateful to the volunteers there who are beyond amazing.

Years of therapy became just a source of frustration to me. After many years, I was just hearing the same things over and over. Therapists have, sometimes, said hurtful things to me.

I thank you for the feedback.