I know my words will probably seem unrealistically optimistic to you, but I'm going to say what I have to say, anyway. Things will get better, and I don't know when, but if you were ever to give up now you'll never know a lot of pleasent things in life that wait for you down the road. Right now it hurts like hell, I've been there, and so have a lot of other people on this site. No one here knows what you're going through, it's true, but you can be sure that you have people to talk to here. If your physical health is failing, don't sit and do nothing, if nothing else it will just make your life more miserable while you are going through this rough patch.

I really hope that things will get better for you, and I know that they will, it just takes time and effort. The effort part may be the hardest b/c you don't know what to do, but doing nothing to help yourself is the worst thing to do. Even if you don't have the strength to seek help today, try to seek it tomorrow. I have faith that your life will get better, and I hope you can have some, too.