i been bp a long time and bacily from a child but 35 yrs ago they wasnt sure what it was..and my point is i guess is that looking back it makes some sense but today and like then i am haveing a hard time dealing with the reality of it..i think im in a little deniel that it is a mental illness and im going to have it for the rest of my life..still coming ti grips with it today.dont know if this makes since to any one..and when i try ti talk or lack there of i have a faer of being judge by ppl in general. iwas missed diagnosed as a kid.they thought i was on drugs cause i was so diffrent all the time..well i wasnt and they put me in a rehab and for nothing..dint tell them what i felt so again fear of being judged..thx all hope u can make some since out of this