u not having much of a fighting spirit is probly a symptom of the depression or bulimia, etc...u can do it, but u hafta believe that if u wanna get better, and u hafta be prepared to confront whatever caused the ed full-on which can b even harder than the ed itself...but it pays off in the end, honestly...i didn't know if i could beat depression, cuz it was ok afta they took away my ed, i still had depression, but once those damn pills actually started working i had to come down to reality and just f*cking deal...i mean, hello, the reason why (i believe) ppl develop eds in the first place is b/c due to them not knowing how to deal, having the ed beats the alternative. well, that's what i reckon anyway...but some of us recovered peeps r a bit harsh sometimes, i know, it's probly cuz we've defeated such damn harsh f*ckers to get there :P

anyways...sounds like ur T's cld b a bit outta there depth, and it's important to have knowledge ppl to help u if ur not feeling strong enuf to get there by urself...i did a bit of a search on da net 4 u...www.eden.org.nz is an eating disorders network, they got an office, support groups (i think, not 100% sure tho!) and if u contact them they'll give u a list of eating disorders counsellors who they recommend. also u can ask ur gp for a referral to the akld eating disorders service...if they refuse just call the service urself it's 09 376 0656, their office is in ponsonby...i dunno much about the hospitalization option, but i'm sure u must b able to just admit urself if it's real bad, the eating disorders service cld probly advise u there n hook u up...i'd also recommend u read "wasted: a memoir of anorexia and bulimia" by marya hornbacher...i'm not usually a great fan of ed biographies b/c so many of them say "i have no idea why i became (insert specific disorder here) and all that and i think of course u frigging know, u wldn't have recovered from it if u didn't!!! but this one is REALLY,REALLY good, it's really inspiring too, the author had an ed for over a decade and reached a ridiciously low weight and had blood tests that wld probably give the most experienced of ed doctors a heart attack...but she got better! BEST OF LUCK...ur strong hun, u wldn't keep coming here if u weren't...the site also has sum self-help tips too