Even now after 60 plus years of problems, a dozen or so years on & off medications, 2 major suicide attempts, etc. sometimes I still look in the mirror & say to myself: why am I saying these things about myself... I'm not mentally ill... I'm just a normal everyday guy... As I have written a number of times before: For most of my life, if denial were blankets I'd have been crushed by the weight... My best wishes to you James70