I had a good nights sleep, and woke up feeling okay, but wanted to be held by my therapist. Sent her this email:

Can you hold me today?

Her response:

GTGT,

"Normally I would say yes. However, this is the first day in a long while that I had no one scheduled, and no other commitments, and so I promised the day to My Kiddo - 100% at her disposal for whatever she might want. I have to honor that promise. (Am doing a quick check of emails while she has a shower - am then turning it off for rest of the day).

Please, take care of yourself. Be good to you. I'll look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

Love you,

FM

My response: "Good for you!"

GTGT

Well I enacted my defense mechanism of yawning, and sleeping. At 3:00 I was explaining to my son how that works for me. He believes its just laziness. I can yawn a hundred times in 2-3 minutes.

I know this latest episode has to do with my therapist being busy.

I will not bury it. We will discuss it tomorrow in session. The difference is I'm aware of the pattern, and looking at what drives it on my own and/or with my therapist. Then, and only then, can I change it. Ah - more progress.

Spent time talking with my own kiddo - love those moments - and now stuck doing loads of laundry. And, I am doing them myself, not hiring help. More progress.