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AzureRain
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Member Since Feb 2013
Location: Oregon
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Default Apr 28, 2013 at 11:18 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouse_ View Post
I'm hesitant to get involved when I read posts wanting to label someone with narcissistic disorder. Especially reading such comments as having to deal with it since they were a child, makes me think, can a child be born narcissistic? I mean apart from the normal state of narcissism we are born into? I wonder at times if perhaps the pattern is continuing into the child's adulthood? The family only seeing the child as "using" the rest of the family when infarct a child will of course need to "use" family as thats what children do until they mature and learn that others are people too, but to expect that from a child, well is pretty near-sighted and narcissistic in itself? Perhaps if there was real genuine family concern, one perhaps would want to look at ways to help the family member rather than just label them? Or are they at a stage where they themselves don't know what to do, are unable to think through any more? Or where they always at a stage where they were tired of the family members wants and needs and didn't want to even begin to think through issues with the family member as they arose? I get the impression a lot of people want to be thrown the narcissistic label like a life belt and then they can claim "victim status" and fill secure in their own minds they were the ones being done too and not the ones that did too also? Perhaps we all in this together and more compassion and understanding may change the pattern that I see repeated often. Of course this are only my own personal feelings on the matter, some who have a genuine interest in wanting to understand another may agree, or others that have no real altruistic desire will just dismiss all of what I say, because it suits them for it to be like that.
I agree. I would say that as young children what people see are the effects of insecure attachments, at varying extremes, and those issues, if not resolved, can sprout such a broken psychy that as adults they have progressive issues. Narcissism runs in families. Its both genetic and environmental. If someone has sufficiant insecure attachments that are not resolved, they can develop depression, anxiety and physical ailments. Up the disfunction in the child's world and things become more extreme. Usually, abuse by a narcissist has the POTENTIAL to create some of the most troubled souls: boarderling, narcissism, histrionic/antisocial and schizophrenic personalities or traits. Dissociative identity disorder is also common if the person was neglected or abused before the age of two. To say, "they are selfish and manipulative" and concider it narcissist personality disorder is ludicrous and harmful. Reactive attachments are the effects of abuse. Why blame a child for being victimized? Why play the victim yourself? All bullies are victims too. Be proactive instead of reactive. Quite blaming and scapegoating because that's what the narcissistic family unite does by reflex and habit. Be aware of your own too....

My whole family are varying shades of the narcissist spectrum. Both my parents were as well. I have, under extreme stress, boarderline and narcissist tendencies. I am co-dependant, married to a bully, have a narcissistic son, a antisocial (histrionic) daughter, a son who pulls out his hair and I'd passive-agressive, an uncle with schizophrenia and two cousins with bipolar. Dysfunction comes out in a mired of ways ...
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Thanks for this!
Crazylion