This is thoughts i can remember from last time (mid december-2 weeks ago)At first I'm like a destracted 5 year old, throwing tantrums about little things, but everyone love me and everything else in life. Why wouldn't they the world's all cotton candy and rainbows, and whoever doesn't feel this way should watch out for my split second wrath. Every sensation is just not enough and your having fun so you don't care what anyone else thinks. Slitting your wrists sound like a fun and interesting thing to do. Shut up keep your mouth quite if pdoc or t realize theyll ruin your fun. Just count multiples of 2-9.one word answers, omg I'm going to explode

Then the world slows, things get to bright, to loud, unless your the one making things to loud. You really want to hurt anyone that's annoying and that's everyone. You know you need help but are to parinod to get it, the feeling of bugs biting you under your skin sets in. You try not to tear at your skin because you know "they" will tell and you'll go to the hospital and you can't go to the hospital because theyll make you fat. That's what everyone wants. You stop eating and drinking. You can't really understand English enough because your to destacted. Your hardly making sence but your so upset and scared that you'll hurt others you start hurting yourself. Then everything is clear.... you are slipping.

You start worrying your going to crash. If you don't kill yourself now you'll be a burden to everyone and they won't remember you happy. You have to cut the caffeine out of your vains. You believe in blood leeding right. If you coulf only get the caffeine out you could sleep and the bugs wouldn't bother you. Why is my husband so mad at me I don't want/need food or sleep. I'd rather my eating disorder we should get divorced.

Back to destacted little kid to Omg what have I done !!! I have to fix everything, and prepare for the drop. What safety things do you need for the drop. How do we (my name) proof the house next time. Wait for the drop.

I have yet to decided if this is to personal so I may erase this later