First of all you must be incredibly strong to have withstood all this horror and still be sane! NO one would have been able to cope with all the bizarre and abusive things you had to go through. You were in a really good place one time and I believe you can do it again. But you MUST get help. Because of the mental illness in your family,you have no clear roadmap to guide you through life. You need someone to explain to you what is healthy behavior and how healthy people live and how to make good decisions. You intuit that there is a good way to live. That should help you. You understand which things you experienced were unhealthy so you have the discernment to get help for yourself . These are wonderful tools. With the right kind of guidance you will surely overcome all your traumas and become strong and happy. Go to the AA meetings. There is usually good help there. Read from the different forums on this site. I think you have the drive and strength to get your life back and at 23 you can start fresh.
Keep on posting and let us know how you are doing