Granite your post really hit home for me. I do not easily send responses for complicated reasons but I will now.
I´m so sorry you had to experience this and you are still dealing with strong feelings that came from it. You could not possibly do anything as a child that would make you deserve any of it. Do not think that please. If you as a child hear all the times bad thinks about yourself it is hard to believe it is not true but please DO because it really is not. I feel a lot of self doubt from your post and I wish that would change for you soon. I´m sure your T will be uderstanding and sure will not blame you for something you just can not be held accountable for. Please try to see her reactions in different perspective isn´t it possible that maybe you can be projecting some of your self hate to them especialy when it comes to your mother?? Sorry If I´m wrong.