I self harm. I started when I was 17 I think. It was a way to deal with overwhelming emotions I couldn't handle. I was really depressed and cutting helped me deal with the emotional pain and it was mainly a coping mechanism.

I stopped for a long time (8 years) I would still get the urges, but I would manage them. I also had a gf that I didn't want to upset, so that helped me from doing it.

I recently started self harming again. The first time I did it I was sure why I did. I just felt this impulse. It was a couple days before my first therapy session with my T. I noticed a pair of scissors on the night stand and I made a couple of light cuts on my arm.

A couple days later my marriage hit a major snafu and I cut a few more times to help deal with it. I did it a couple more times because I was really depressed at work and I wanted to feel numb so I could function and get some stuff done. I did it another time because my wife got mad at me and I felt this uncontrollable rage towards myself. I did it another time because my wife cried because she couldn't help with my depression and I just hated myself at the time.

A lot of times when I am at work and I start to obsessively think or get emotional I bite my lip. The pain helps clear my mind. I have never made myself bleed from it, just enough to hurt.