hypo mania is a life changing event, everytime for me. It's that moment of clarity, that lasts and lasts. I can see things so clearly, know all the right answers, and during it I am not able to sit still. I have to make the changes, based on what I see RIGHT NOW! I start so many of the things I have been putting off, because I can see it so clearly. I fall in love with life again, and everything seems so right, beautiful almost. I get lost in the things that I do, and I can't fit enough things into the day that I am doing them. It all evolves... one thing turning into the next, and I go with it. At least, I used to go with it. each one thing evolving into something big, something grand, something that has the utmost importance.

I leave behind all of the things that I started and I chase that one, bigger than life, whatever it is thing and I get lost in it.

Soon though, it stops working the way that I need it to, that it is supposed to. People get in the way. no one acts like they should anymore and it produces anger in me. anger and desperation. I become completely obsessed, thinking about it night and day constantly.... letting my anger and desperation take control of me until I get so bottled up inside that nothing else matters.

this, for me, is how I end up experiencing mixed episodes, IF I LET IT get this far.

now, I have learned more and more how to let go of things and it's made the biggest difference for me.

hope this helps