Thanks for your post luckyblackcat6. I've had some measure of support from my friends, but over the past weeks I've realised that an issue with friendships has been that I have tended to either be the listener and emotional caretaker for them, or else I've been a victim.

I think this goes back to having to emotionally caretake my parents to an extent in order to get them to be nice to me and keep caring for me - essentially I had to learn it to cope.

So I think at least a couple of my relationships with others are based on that same pattern - where I am there to bolster them and when I try and talk about my situation nothing really gets resolved or it meets with a blank.

I'm only really just processing this now, and am not sure what I'm doing to fall into the trap of being a doormat or a victim.

Thanks for the tip about writing letters - I have been using writing more and more so this could be helpful.