I'm not sure if this belongs in this forum or Coping With Emotions forum. Lately I've been very triggered into defense mode, over some Lolita type posts. I've mentioned in past posts, that at the age of 13 my BIL tried to corner me and kiss me. In another previous instance, we were playing law darts and he grabbed me/tickled me ....his hands went to my chest area.

I realize I'm very lucky compared to other sexual abuse victims, but it still bothers me to this day, when I'm reminded of it. I never told anyone until I was 25, when I was going to get married. He called me and invited me out to dinner by myself for one last night being single - I said no!!!! At 1st I said yes thinking others were coming but said "no" when realizing he was inviting me only. My sister at the time was up at their cottage. When my brother asked me why - I finally told him what happened in the past. This confirmed to be that he was still trying to get with me.

I always tell people they should tell someone but I didn't. I was so insulted because he was our neighbor and been around since I was 5 - In looked to him like a brother. Was also very insulted he would do this to my sister - being a cheater. I remember detesting him and always feeling uncomfortable at family gatherings. Me and my older sister were never close, but I know this distanced us further, because I couldn't stand to be around him.

Why didn't I tell - they had only been married 3 yrs and I honestly didn't want to ruin my sisters marriage. This was my logic at 13. I was also afraid and embarrassed. What I'm struggling with is - was it better to let it go or did I make a mistake where he may have done this to someone else?