Livefast,

I don't think your post rambled. I get a lot of what you wrote. My family had very odd ideas concerning sexaul abuse/medical issues. They had a very sick relationship with the pediatrian. I believe sick calls unto sick and all my family, neighbors and medical professionals were in agreement with the insanity of my childhood. We can also include alcoholism, drug addiction, hypochondrias, and garden variety lunacy.

I, like you, was able to navigate my way through the social norms and look fairly "normal". I made friends easily and kept them away from my family for the most part. Unfortunately some were privvy to the beatings from father and mother. However, in the 60's, your family could beat you to a farethewell and no one notified authorities.

You need to realize you are resiliant and you can work your way to a healthier life. Because you survived your childhood and you are aware there are issues you need to work on puts you miles ahead of the pack.

I believe in your ability to heal. Find a good therapist and dig in. I would recommend 2 authors who helped me immensly. S. Higgins-O'conner, The Resiliant Adult. The second author has several books and I would encourage you to look her up on the internet...Alice Miller. They explain how the severely abused are able to keep their sanity in an insane family situation. Miller believes children abused can heal if they have "an enlightened witness" to hear your story.

It's not just about surviving, it's about thriving. PM me if you wish.

Take gentle care,

Sabra