Quote:
Originally Posted by nessaea
Sorry if this comes off like a rant - I'm just frustrated.
I am depressed, and have been for years. It comes and goes in terms of severity, but it is always there. While I've been depressed, I've done university classes, worked multiple jobs, been on the board for several non-profit and community organizations, and volunteered at many different places. However, when things get really bad, I just can't cope with any of that stuff, and sometimes need to take a break.
Right now, things are really bad, and I haven't been able to do a whole lot recently. My T really wanted me to let some of my friends in on what has been going on (since I tend to just hide it and not tell anyone) so I have opened up a little to 3 or 4 people. I have told them I am depressed, and have at times been suicidal, and am just trying hold on and make things better. The responses have generally been good, but the one comment that they all have made is:
"Oh, well, what do you do all day then?"
This question, as well-meaning and valid as it is, drives me up the wall. For someone who doesn't understand depression, it is hard to understand how much work it is to just get out of bed and get dressed, let alone actually *do* anything. I know it is especially hard when my friends look at me, because I am always doing a million things, and always very busy and very able to handle it, so they don't understand how now, all of a sudden, I can't. And, at least for me, not being able to do things makes me feel ashamed and worthless. So that question is just a reminder to me of how pathetic I feel about not being able to work or do school. It's really hard to not respond out of frustration and just say,
"Well, I spend all day trying NOT to kill myself, and, since I'm still here, I guess I've been doing a pretty great job of it so far, so just back off!"
I know I'm just overreacting, but those type of questions really bother me. Anyone else have questions that they are just tired of hearing from people when talking about depression? Or anyone have a good way to respond to these things?
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Hi
You have phrased this so well -- I, too, can spend all day just trying to stay on a "normal keel". Some days, it is very hard to function at all, and I can sit for hours in my chair and literally do nothing -- I don't like that I have no energy or will to get moving, but these are all symptoms of depression. As I get older, I am more able to tell people what I deal with on a daily basis -- as I said, no energy. I do keep as active as my body and mind will let me, but it is not easy.
This mental health disability is very tiring, and some days just trying to cope with it can be exhausting -- never mind trying to get things done. And, some people don't know that I live with depression, and, so I am still making a conscious effort to keep it from showing -- it is not always easy!