Oh, Granite. I'm sorry this is so hard. It's true, though, that you have the misfortune of seeing this from the mother's perspective, not your teacher's. YOU know what the mother meant by "publicly criticizing". Your teacher probably didn't -- a typical teacher would not imagine what was happening to you at home. You know what being "kept on your toes" meant to the mother, but a teacher wouldn't read it that way at all. Asking someone to repeat instructions is a really normal way to make sure they're on the same page -- this is a classic thing abusers do, framing their awful behavior in a way that makes it sound normal and even helpful.

Your view of your "bad conduct" is probably very much colored by the consequences you suffered for it, NONE of which were deserved. I can understand why talking seems horrible to you, but to a teacher, talking may make their job a little more difficult but it's not seen as horrible, it's seen as a normal and typical issue in the classroom. Knowing that you talked in 2nd grade changes nothing about the way I see you, and I am guessing your T will feel the same.

And if I had to guess, when your T says it sounds strange that if things were so bad, why didn't the mother go to school, or why didn't someone from the school go to your home... I read this as her questioning whether your conduct really was that bad, or whether this was something the mother made you believe to justify her treatment of you. This is kind of what a lot of us are saying -- if it was as bad as you are reading it, why wasn't more action taken? It's quite possible that you weren't really that bad! The school did not seem to feel it necessary to involve the mother more, so from their perspective, you probably weren't really that bad a kid. And if your mother was so worried, a NORMAL reaction is to go into the school to talk, not to humiliate and abuse her child. That's what I read T as saying -- that your mom CLAIMED to be so concerned, but she did not act like a concerned mother. She acted like an abuser.

It's horrible that your view of yourself as a child is so distorted by the way the mother made you feel. I hope you can come to see it this way, though: that a lot of this narrative you tell yourself comes from things the mother told you, and not the way you really were as a little kid.