I don't know if this applies to you at all Lola but I will mention something that happened with my situation. Like you, I felt like I had no real friends...because I essentially wasn't allowed to have any. Now that I am away from the ex, I am finally beginning to develop some very nice, supportive friendships. Can't believe it took me until my 40's to have some real friends...
I know that doesn't help right at this moment but it reminds me so much of how I felt when I was still with him.
As far as telling us, that's what we are here for and we care about you.