thanks for the replies cocosurviving,~Christina and Nessa213

i wish it was just mania, i didn't write all the symptoms in first post. there are too many negative thoughts in my head. After months i thought about cyanide yesterday and that was the clue for depression. if i ever want to do sui it is one of the easily available option for me. also there was little bit of social anxiety which comes with depression,but today was way better and i think it will be just that one week of depression/mixed thing. 3 days of low followed by 3 days of recovery period.

by the way i still bought from eBay today. it is very hard to resist 54% discount! i don't buy too costly things in my shopping spree phase. i have learned my lessons from my first shopping spree which lasted for month like this!

so i am feeling OK, slept 8 hours undisturbed, i had headache for 3 hours but now it is gone, hopefully tomorrow will be better.