Thank you all for the support. Your kind words brought tears to my eyes. More so than that of the fact that I could not recall making this post until reading it.

I do not go to bingo anymore, though have decided that it is due more to my ADD than Anxiety, I just cant sit in the quiet and pay attention as the silence starts my mind to go which end up causing me to have thoughts of myself and the feelings of that they are thinking this or that about me. Then I end up triggering anxiety from the silence and lack of ablility to pay attention.

Now, once a day I sit in the small lobby in the main entrance and visit with the other residents. I find it more enjoyable than bingo as I am free to talk and there is no wait for the event to officialy be over. If I start to feel uncomfortable I am free to go to the elevator and up to my apartment. No worry of leaving before as a scheduled activity, time to be over.

I am somewhat agoraphobic, I am working with my T on this though she feels I am making progress of the fact that I have kept a schedule of leaving the apartment and the building and driving to the store or running daily errands at 2 in the afternoon everyday for about an hour. Once A week I go out of town on Fridays after my home session with my T/caseworker to my Mothers house and spend the night until Saturday then come home.

When I leave the car is my back up home or safe place where while at my Moms I spend alot of time in the car. The car brings me a sense of safety in the fact if need be I could flee to my apartment if necessary. I find myself learning more and more each day how to battle the anxiety and fear. And feel that everytime I step out the door and leave my home is another days progress though this may sound like the opposite to others it is what works for me.

To be honest My social anxiety reaches to this forum and on line communication with people on line. I must say if the anxiety in anyones life starts small, and begins to interfere with daily life, seek help through a Therapist. My anxiety started small 10 years ago and throgh lack of support and Talk Therapy it has progressed to the state in which it is today. As with and disorder, early treament is the best way to keep things from becoming progressivly worse, over time.

Thank you all for your support and for taking the time to read some of the things and such of my anxiety disorder.

God Bless you all

Take Care,
Kris

I wish hope for us all

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!