It sounds to me like he is trying to be honest with you about the fact that "he" was abused too. He was just a little boy, remember, hurt people hurt other people. I think you gave him good advice about getting therapy. It looks like you have a lot to process with all this new info. He may have said your mother was mad and not talking to him to see if you told them anything.

I am very sorry all of that happened to you, and sorry if he was abused too. It takes alot longer than previously thought to develope empathy and look at things as not us being the center of the universe. It is not unusual for children to keep these things hidden and even for many years. So it is a challenge to go back and look at it more objectively "from the child's ability to really understand things at that time".

He did give you a big clue that he does struggle with it, not even being able to kiss his own children. I believe he is still very "confused" psychologically.