(((H3rmit)))
I care.
I understand (i hate myself and my life mostly as well just for different reasons as you).
And yes this is so much more than just midlife stuff l8blmr, it really is.
This is how we are, how we have been our entire lives. We try and try to make it better, get rid of all of it to no avail. 
__________________
"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder"
"The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died,
And I've Forgotten What It's Like,
And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone)
"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding
"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)
"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
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