I found a book on google books free online titled A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to Healing the Child within half an hour I've only been reading it and did the first exercise I feel a lot better with a better understand the root cause of why I am:
- always seeking approval & affirmation
- fail to recognize accomplishments
- fear criticism
- overextend myself
- have problems with my compulsive behaviour
- a perfectionist
- feel uneasy when life is going smooth & anticipate problems
- feel most alive in midst of crisis
- isolate from people
etc. etc. the list goes on and on out of the questions I got usually on pretty much all of them.

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of books