Quote:
Originally Posted by lady1158
Alright everyone I got him to delete all of the pictures without getting the cops or lawyers involved. (I watched him do it very thoroughly) Except now he's expecting me to take him back because in his mind, deleting the pictures should make me trust him again. He's been begging me for another chance and isn't taking no for an answer.
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I do not like your solution, for two reasons:
- he might have a thousand copies of the files on other servers
- he should not be trading the deletion of the files, even if it were true and honest, for any favors or concessions on your part
You can probably walk a fine line, though, by telling him that while you appreciate the deletion of the files, it was an action to prove his integrity, period. You will now take your time thinking about possible next steps and are not giving him any firm hopes.
PLEASE!!!
Save some money and hire a professional photographer, ideally someone who does black-and-white photography because it is classier, and get a tasteful nude portfolio - just a few pictures if that is all you can afford. Place them on YOUR servers, under YOUR control, and password-protect. Give out the passwords to trustworthy people as you see fit. Make the pictures tasteful enough so that even if someone breaks your trust, copies them, and distributes them, you would not feel embarrassed.
That is what I would do if I could go back to being 18 and having a to-die-for body. I would not have random boyfriends take crummy low quality pictures using cheap cell phone cameras, in bad, unflattering lighting etc. etc., and later threatening and blackmailing. No point. Unless he has been an amateur photographer of exceptional talent, that is.
If you then must get photographed by boyfriends, have them photograph body parts, without your face, so that you would not be identifiable.
I do not have nude pictures, but I have headshots taken by a professional photographer, and I can tell you that the difference between the professional headshots and my old headshot on LinkedIn taken by a guy who takes passport pictures is
night and day. When I changed the headshot on LinkedIn from the passport mugshot to the professionally done headshot, my former female colleagues whom I had not seen in a couple of years emailed me with compliments. Female and married and straight, so no ulterior motives whatsoever - just pure, valid, objective positive feedback.