Hi Tormented, you are tormenting yourself for a life that is gone and things will never be the same. I'm sorry for being so blunt but you know this already. A parent passing is terrible I know I miss my mum every day as well as my brother who passed away last Aug, but there must be something positive about living in Seattle. You have to look for the positives, and, you will find them. Best Wishes
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"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born.... and the day you find out why"
~ Mark Twain
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