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It is normal to feel loss, shock, or numbness when someone leaves us. Don't read too much into it. You've been hit by an emotional hammer and anything at all you feel (or don't) is what is supposed to happen. Id encourage you to grieve the loss, and slowly move toward figuring out what role this man played for you in the big picture of your life...
Take care!
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"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” - Carl Rogers
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"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin
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