Just when I think I can manage to make it thru the day I get a sense of hopelessness and thoughts of just ****ing ending it all. I don't want to deal with my mental issues anymore I just fed up with everyone and there not understanding of what I am going thru.

I have to drink and keep busy to keep myself from hurting myself really bad. I don't give a **** if its wrong anymore I'm so fed up with my spouses constant harassment about my issues of how I handle my problems and take take of my son.

I pretty much want to tell everyone to ****ig go to hell and rot there because if you don't like what I'm saying or doing you can go f yourself and rotate on it.Im at my breaking point between not having some sort of relief in my life that I can vent my problems out and not be ridiculed for just saying whatsoever on my mind.

I hate what I have become and don't deserve the things I have or I have been given at this point. Really doesn't matter anymore I just rather not exists at some point in time. I fought if anybody would give a dam **** about me anyway.

I think I need to check in somewhere and get myself some Help with these issues I am dealing with before I do something I can't come back from. ITs not the 1st time I thought about it and it won't be the last.