Hi Bedobones - that's terrible you were bullied. I have several geeky guy acquaintances, and my husband, who went through a lot of stuff like that. I was the biggest kid in the class, tall and strong, so that never happened to me. I stood up for kids that got bullied when I saw it. I hate injustice.

About the past, yes, we must let it go. Even when I think of my parents' mistakes, I can forgive them. I know they meant well and were ignorant about many things that are understood differently now. The one that kills me still, however, is the smoking. I was a passive smoker, the respirologist said, until I left home. Even in the womb, I was a passive smoker. I could let it go easier if it didn't still affect every breath I take. That makes it hard. Well, not EVERy breath. Thankfully I don't have to think about it every moment, but it becomes obvious very frequently. I struggle with health and physical activity as I have all my life. Hey, at least I have a good mind. I can thank my parents for that, I guess.

Negativity doesn't bother me, so rant away if you feel the need, not that I perceived your post as negative. You have mentioned before this need to "pass" or not act strange. Do you never get to let it out? At least I have my husband and he has me, and we can be ourselves at home, if no one else would understand. I hope you have at least that. Social norms are often an unnecessary ball and chain, and are sometimes useful structures for communication or getting things done.

Edit: PS, the wishcraft book argues it's never too late to do something, but of course that's a choice and requires effort. I'm finding it thought-provoking.