Adam - what you are saying makes sense to me. So many phrases ring out that this is not working for you and it is fear and guilt that kept you there in recent times. I would feel the same way based on her behaviours - she wasn't there for you when the chips were down. She behaves as a self-indulgent child, which would be okay sometimes if it didn't take precedence over caring for the relationship, but it does. That is where I would draw a line. Then there's the repeated cheating. Ai-ai-ai. When you heal from this, I think there is a good chance you will find someone else and even if not that, make a happier life for yourself.

I didn't want kids either, and I don't care if someone thinks it's selfish. It's definitely a deal-breaker in marriage relationships!

You survived engineering school. You have strengths. Despite her redeeming human qualities, she is undermining you. It's a toxic relationship.