I had a boyfriend... he has since died of suicide - was mentally ill and doctors failed to save him... pumped him with AP's to the point of his ballooning to an impossibly round shape (this is as told by mutual friends, as I moved continents and was not in touch with him for the last several years of his life) whereas his natural shape was super super super bony and thin - just no fat cell on his body.

At any rate, he could not perform with music playing either, and I would have loved to have music on but he could not perform.

HOWEVER, he had an excuse which I found valid - he was a student of composition, wrote music, etc., and he could not concentrate on sex because having music on turned him off by switching on his music listening mode. He could not do both at the same time. It was either or for him. He did love playing the piano or listening to LP's after sex, though.

But that was it - other than that, he was enthusiastic about having sex every time we saw one another, and sometimes more than once. The music thing was the solo turnoff for him.

In the case of your bf, it seemed that he does not have the attention span problem my bf had in that he was unable to pay attention to music and sex at the same time. It seems that music, combined with lights off, was suggestive of your intentions to be sexual with him, and he was unable to perform under the pressure of your expectations. Right?