thank you everyone for your responses.

i have a $20 co-pay with unlimited sessions so its affordable on that front but I would be missing like 4-5hours in session and drive time from work...thats where my biggest problem comes in.

I went twice a week for about 3 months whilst in crisis mode, it was good. Really helped build the relationship and keep my head above water. I think I didn't get as much done then as I would now because I was seriously f***ed up at the time so just keeping myself together was enough. Now that things are going much better I am working through more difficult stuff without feeling like I am falling apart. So once a week is fine. I'd like to go back to twice a week though, even though it's expensive, but I'm worried I'd be going because I'm attached to my T, rather than because I really need it. Not sure. It's complicated!

I am finally feeling now and accepting and realizing the impact and affect my childhood has had on me. Im thawing out. So you would think I would be more in crisis mode but its the opposite. Like above, its still really hard stuff but im not falling apart and barely surviving in between appointments. Im also feeling the opposite because i'm not fighting the attachment with T anymore. That was HUGELY HARD for me. I think getting over the attachment hump CHANGED EVERYTHING for me. Im still attached and its still maternal but I feel secure in our relationship now. It was a long road getting there and involved many talks about it but i feel so much better now. I want to see her more so I can get more and more out of therapy!