I don't have any plans on hurting myself. I think it is just my minds way of coping, wanting to find some way out of all the overwhelming emotions. Just trying to take things a day at a time and focus on something to keep myself occupied. I see my pdoc Friday for the first time and maybe he will have some meds that may help.

I never bought into the chemical imbalance thing. I think the meds are just trial.and error and they noticed people seem less depressed on them. I also think that BPD is a good possibility for me and would explain why antidepressants don't seem to work. I think therapy is where I may learn to find for balance and ways to understand how to cope. I plan into looking into shy. There is a group therapy in town that discusses it. From what I read it seems like it may help me.