Heartbroken,

I'll put in my two cents, even though I've been with my wife for 21 years and for most of that time she was verbally and emotionally abusive but I'VE STAYED and it has taken its toll on me, physically(loss of libido, chronic respiratory infections) and mentally(making me more unstable/ultradian cycling bipolar). Forget about testing or kissing and focus on the DRINKING. Extremely drunk were your wife's words. Not one glass of wine or a beer. She was out of control! My wife is an alcoholic, though I don't know if she ever cheated on me with men or women(she had girl on girl adult mags when I met her). My wife is more effed up than me. But back to my point. I was always the 'nice' guy, a doormat, a guy women liked as a 'friend'...in short, a shmuck.

It's not easy for many men to tell a woman to shove off but if she drinks and cheated, once, I think there's a possibility she'll do it again OR she just figures you're like a puppy dog and you'll always be there and take her back. If you've got a psychiatrist or psychologist, tell that person the whole story. Gather your family and friends for moral support, then see a lawyer. Again, I say it isn't easy. You will hurt, you will cry, you will get depressed, you will miss her, but she is f**king with you and knows you'll let her get away with it. Don't be like me and flush two decades down the toilet. I'm starting psychotherapy to unblock my head and get out of this depression that's killing me. Start by working on your negative self image. That's where this started and when you fix that, you won't let any woman dump on you, again.