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Evangelista said:\thru the tears..feeling so hurt..not in physical pain..but emotional..dosen't make sense..darn it...

Eva...

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Eva,

This might be something to bring up with your T. When I was going through my sessions, things would trigger me that I would never have associated with anything that had happened. In fact, it could be something completely unreated that would set me back 5 sessions as I would say to my T. I asked him why this was and this is what he shared with me. Now this is just stuff that was in my case and I found it to be true for me. And I know every single person is different with what is right in their own situation. But if any of this helps you out, well that makes it all worth the extra work I had to do to learn this stuff.

What I learned:

1) The trigger might not be the setting or the person, it can just be the actual stress of the event. Even if the event had nothing to do with any past trauma. Stress is stress and the mind and body process it sometimes the same way as if it were a situational trigger.

2) Good stress and bad stress look the same on a chemical level. I learned this when I talked with my T about how I could go do something fun and then come home and cry for hours for "no reason" at all. That would make me so mad at myself and I could not grasp why I would do that. T said the chemicals in the body that are released when we are in very excited situations are the same chemicals that are released when we have "negative" stress.

3) Personal expectations factored into this. I found out that (again in my case) I was subcounsiously setting myself up for a bad "day after" for some things. T told me that because I would have the episodes of being very happy with an event, and then I would be triggered by stress and crash that I had built a pattern for myself. So then I started to dread even the best of events out of fear that I would crash afterwards. So even if I was not actually triggered in some way - like if there really wasn't that much stress with the event and it was calmer than I expected, well I was prepared to crash so my mind would later on do what I had expected it to do.

Again, not saying any of this is what happened with you, but if my experiences and learning help in any way so you can be happy or stronger if you want to be, than it is good.

Wendi