That's a good insight. My version of this is that I'm mad at my T because he "knows stuff about me". Yeah, I intellectually get that I actually told him everything he knows, or allowed him to observe it. I get that it's wrong to blame someone for this, and I even get that it's been good for me to have a witness to my history and that he's so good at allowing me to do this that I've said more about it than in previous therapies, and that has been so very healing to me.

But Murphy's Law of Therapy would suggest that your T will be unavailable just when you need it most. My T and I talked about how tough it was for me to reach out for help, and then I had something difficult coming up and we talked about how I could call him if I wanted or needed to. It was something time sensitive, and he told me that he'd be available within a few minutes during a particular time frame, and I did call within it and left a message with his receptionist. I never got a call back because he didn't get the message.

But phones do drop texts and voice mails and emails on a regular basis and the other thing is that T's cannot constantly be plugged in, they would burn out so fast. So while 5 hours sounds like a long time, it's really a pretty fast response if you put your phone down or have a busy day.

I wonder if it would help you to have a discussion about what you can reasonably expect via text, and what's okay to text or not, and when you might get a response. This might help you understand that there is a line between too "needy" (although I personally don't think that people's needs are a problem) and appropriately "needy." I doubt you've crossed that line yet, but information is power, and knowing how your T uses her texting and emailing and what not might help you understand that it's probably not about you, it's about her.

And one thing you've learned from the 5 hour thing is that you can actually tolerate the uncomfortable feelings, and you might actually be empowered to be able to tolerate them for longer next time because of this experience. Silver lining and all that.