It has slightly changed. She is watching her nephews now and it was ok for the first few weeks then her aunt didn't have all of the money and now my wife's bank account is overdrawn. I offered to give her the money then realized I didn't have it to give. She still hasn't found a permanent job.

She cooks dinner everyday, but that is about the extent of her responsibilities.

I just question if I feel this way because I am depressed or if the releationship is what I want anymore, or if it was ever what I wanted. Maybe i was just happy in the beggining because someone wanted me, and I don't think that is a good thing. I don't think I have ever been happy with myself or what I have done. I have always felt an emptiness, like no matter what I do I can't feel good about myself. When we dated it made me feel whole, like things made sense and I felt better about myself.

Maybe that was the trap. I think I should have saught treatment a long time ago instead of burying everything down and trying to seem like I was ok, even when I wasn't.

I think I need find a sense of self and figure out who I am. I think my whole life I have had my feeelings invalidated so I just started pretending to be what people expected of me. She asked me to marry her. I think part of me wondered why. Why would anyone want to spend thier life with me. I said yes, then later bought a ring and asked her to marry me at the lplace we meet.
I know those thoughts aren't logical, but it is how I feel.