Yes, I see what you are saying Hankster, and it got me thinking too. I have always been the "victim", always, I never abused "anyone" so I have no idea what goes on in the mind of and abuser, even if they have themselves been a victim which does happen.

I think what I was saying though, is at least he "acknowledged" some of it purple.

What I have noticed consistantly is whenever someone has abused me in any way, they "never appologize directly to me" and they do take steps to avoid admission or responsiblity and they have even gone so far as to paint a picture of "me" being somehow responsible. And they often seem to want to "talk down to me or make an effort to discredit me" as well somehow. Sometimes it has even become "their mission" to try to find someway to put me down in front of others somehow.

In fact I asked my T about that this past tuesday in our session. I asked why my husband still has a tendency to do that to me, talk down to me, be short with me, be dismissive to me, talk over me.

A family councelor I was seeing for a time after my husband and I had been separated for a time and were trying to get back together told me that when someone does something wrong or bad to another person, anytime they are around that other person they are reminded of what they did, and their guilt so they get angry and will often even be mean to that other person. My husband did this alot to me before he told me about how he cheated on me. He was also a binge alcoholic and while he has been sober for going on 22 years now, he still tends to do that negetive behavior towards me sometimes. He was really bad when he was and active binge alcoholic. He would be really nice, tell me he loved me so much, then be mean to me too.

I have noticed this pattern is a constant. My neighbor who was careless and negligent about fixing his broken containment system for his dog which lead to so many of my horses and ponies to be so badly damaged by his dog goes out of his way to tear down my no trespassing signs, call me crazy, and try to blame "me" for something this is "his" fault.

Well, enough about me, but my point was at least he gave you "some" admission. But he is still in "denial" and this seems to be something abusers of any kind seem to need to do somehow, and I don't think they are even really aware of it tbh.

It is as if they want to "shut up their victim" so they don't have to face their guilt somehow. And it is also "if they can find a way to put down their victim then they can feel better about themselves somehow". It's like "dissociate from ones own guilt by putting down or blaming the victim" scenario.