Dear T,

When im mad at you and am difficult during sessions do you really care? I think i am just trying to hurt you back... Maybe my semi-unconscious decision to withhold from you last week and stay all surfacy is actually sort of a form of self-harm. Because I don't think it really affects you one bit. I go home to be with myself and all my self-loathing and you probably forget all about me the second I walk out the door. Why do I do this to myself??? I hope tomorrow is better but I'm starting to wonder if this is just who I am and there's nothing left to do about it....I hope you can help me.