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Originally Posted by PAYNE1
Welcome! Some people engage in what's called intellectualization. It's a defense mechanism where they can talk about even what would normally be very painful experiences as if they were just describing it as an outsider, with none of the usual emotions.
I suggest you talk to a mental-health professional about it. I really was that way for a good while. For example, I went for a whole year in therapy, talking about how I was emotionally abused and I never shed a tear. But now I am more in touch with my emotions--and even was able to feel the hurt and anger as a result.  |
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Originally Posted by lemon80s
Just want to say I know what you mean! I am starting therapy only recently and am hoping this will help me get to my emotions someday.
I once was in a terrible fire, saw a woman burn to death and I was unmoved. When my friends are crying right next to me, I am unmoved. The only thing that reassures me that I DO HAVE the emotions is that I can feel them when they are further away. So, something on TV that strikes me as sad and beautiful at the same time.. I'll feel a tear well up. (It's gone pretty instantly, but hey.. it's something)
I recently tried to identify when I do and don't feel and I recognise the pattern of
- Close by: me, family, friends, people I know > don't feel a thing
- Far away: tv, newspaper clipping, youtube clip > might feel a thing
From what I read so far it can be due to the emotional neglect and abuse I suffered (suffering feels silly to use, because I don't feel any pain thinking about this). I hope my therapist and I can figure out how to get to them feelings! 
So yeh. Just hope you can figure it out! Are you in therapy? It might be the only way. I don't know yet. |
Thanks for your help! (Sorry for the late reply, I didn't receive any message by e-mail).
Intellectualization is something I automatically do with negative feelings (is very very useful) but hardly something I would ever think to do with a positive feeling, I think that's not the problem.
And I have not been abused nor anything like that, I just somehow acted like if society expected me to be cold and emotionless, since I was very young, my mother told me that when I had to take a vaccine I didn't cry at all (and ironically that was some sort of unintended positive reinforcement for me)
Though I remember crying for silly things when I was younger, now I can't, no matter how intense the emotion (though I cry every time I yawn, so it's hardly a physical problem)
And I'm not in therapy (I was for other reasons, mainly OCD and an exaggerated lack of social abilities), but I think I can learn anything for myself, my introverted nature lets me make almost any psychological change by myself with ease (at least rational changes) and very hard to change through other people.
Thanks again for your help! (Both)