Dear T,

I know it's your job but thank you for encouraging my anger in my session yesterday. I didn't know I was going to come out with "I want to throw something at you", and then you wanted me to do it s l o w l y, the SE way. I like that I could say "I want to smash your phone and throw it into the lake!!" Saying those words helped as much as the SE part of it, I think.

Now we have to talk about who I'm angry with! Or maybe we don't. I know it's transference. I don't REALLY want to hurt you even though I wrote it in the email to you. I know you understand that.

Thanks SO much for answering my concerns at the end of the session when we had only a minute left. I was so confused that your marriage was always bad, when you never gave me that impression. I am always too concerned that you won't answer me or that I'm crossing boundaries, but it turned out that everything is okay with you. You're just making sure that therapy is about ME, not about YOU.

I was angry that you are NOT going to change your mind about holding my hand. You always promised, over and over, that you wouldn't take that away, but you did. I can forgive you because you said it's not good for me, but I can't forget. It was the best thing about therapy, and the best thing about any of my therapy, in all the years!!! I don't know why but that's the honest truth. Once I asked you why it felt so good and you said you didn't know. Maybe we can talk about that again.

I feel better now, not so angry, and more settled. Something worked yesterday, even though it took time. I'm still a work in progress, I know. I'm glad I'm working with YOU, and that I trusted my gut 3 years ago. I needed someone I fit with this time. Each T is different!

Love,
rainbow8