Hey everyone. I'm home from the hospital. My husband almost admitted himself when he came to pick me up, he's been so depressed bc he's in chronic pain from a neck injury and is on no pain meds. But the intake lady said his pain was causing the depression and they really couldn't help him.

We are moving across the country for a new start with supportive family members in 2 months.

We went to grocery store and an NA meeting.

I am so anxious. It's so awful being home and wonderful at the same time. Same as the hospital. Love hate relationship there.

But I worked real hard on myself and got my meds straight, and learned new coping skills. I made some new aquantences that I already miss.

I relapsed on my benzos bc of the stress of the day and all the chaos and my husband was crying and freaking out. I pray things work out. We both have much hope for a new beginning.

I picked up a white NAKey chain tonight. So tomorrow will be my first day clean.

I feel like God has left me. I feel afraid. I am fragile. I hope I can sleep. I so don't want to go back to the psyche ward. It's prizon but healthy all at once.

Feeling very neurotic. Please love me.