To be totally honest, I kind of did exactly this yesterday. I didn't say I wanted to quit. I said I felt like I didn't want to come back. I think the reason my T never just says: "Fine, that's up to you," is because I never actually say I'm quitting. I say I feel like I want to, or I feel like I don't want to come back.

So I was on this thread talking about the dangers of fishing for the response you want while doing exactly that. I'm not proud! I think one of the key things here is learning to tolerate feelings of neediness which perhaps were met with indifference or negative responses when we were kids. I don't know about anyone else, but those early attachment/relational patterns mean I expect to be rejected, invalidated, or told off for complaining. I have a belief system that says my T will get angry with me if I open up and talk, and that he thinks I'm worthless and doesn't care.

The thing is, believing you're worthless is a defence mechanism that develops in childhood so you can survive living with parents who don't care for you as well as they should. It enables you to survive, but it's very damaging. My T is trying to get me to let go of these beliefs and I am resisting because if I stop believing I'm worthless I have to start really seeing that other people have treated me badly.

My T did text me and ask if I wanted to come back and talk to him. I said I was confused, angry and scared, and I didn't want to, but I probably should. I'm going to see him on Friday and (because I still can't let go of the belief that he doesn't or shouldn't care) I'm really nervous.