Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
I don't know about anyone else, but those early attachment/relational patterns mean I expect to be rejected, invalidated, or told off for complaining. I have a belief system that says my T will get angry with me if I open up and talk, and that he thinks I'm worthless and doesn't care.
The thing is, believing you're worthless is a defence mechanism that develops in childhood so you can survive living with parents who don't care for you as well as they should. It enables you to survive
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Oh tiny, you have just described me/my childhood to a tee. This is what my T is always saying to me. I can SEE it, i can see it makes sense, but i just cant apply it to myself...that probably sounds so stupid.
I am going to give myself next week off. I will do the decent thing, and call her instead of text her (no crossed wires then), and tell her that its just because i need to give myself time, but that i WILL be back.
I just desperately wish that i could close the lid on all of this emotional stuff, and forget it all.